just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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