she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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