that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everclear isn't food dammit
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
