I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
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Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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