i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
