Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize