Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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