You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
