forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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