you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
