I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Drunk is not a location!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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