Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
