I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Randomize
