his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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