she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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