She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
