Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
