Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
porn star boner night. come get it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
