At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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