I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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