I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize