Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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