Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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