im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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