I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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