What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
