we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
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I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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