yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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