that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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