I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
