the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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