Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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