We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
