So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
