hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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