i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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