I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We smell like vodka and hangover
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