Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
