MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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