Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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