He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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