at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
