I wannas sexs uuuuu
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
