I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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