she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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