so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
