as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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