in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
