u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize