Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
