Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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