too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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