I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
