I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
