So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
