Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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