dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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