is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
