so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
