Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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