lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
wanna go halves on a baby?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Found the puke drawer
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
