plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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