Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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