you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
