shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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