Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
